tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11496563433595156092024-03-13T14:14:09.899-07:00The Wise Guy BlogWise or not, I say it anywayThe Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.comBlogger93125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-28063944485256963822012-06-20T13:25:00.003-07:002012-06-20T13:27:27.193-07:00Fact Check<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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When confronted with data, it is immeasurably easier to accept
the data as true rather than to verify its authenticity. With the above being true, it becomes laughably simple to coerce
or prod people into action simply by stating a number that sounds logical or
believable enough to make the process of thoughtful fact checking seem like a wasteful pursuit. The more logical the guess, the better chance
one has of duping ones readers, listeners, students, etc. </div>
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For example, quantifying
the premature fish deaths due to theft deterrent devices at a big box retailer
by stating 1 in every 5 fish will die because people fail to lift the fish over
said devices, is actually quite believable.
To test this, walk into your favorite big box retailer and find an
unsuspecting dupe… er…. customer, unwittingly walking the path toward premature
fish death. Now, inform them that if
they do not lift the fish over the theft deterrent devices their fish will die. Every one of them, without fail, will lift
them over. After all, no one wants to be
a pet killer, and seldom will anyone who is motivated in this way ever make sure what they were told was accurate. If they did fact-check the above claim, they might realize they have a
better chance of accidentally inhaling their fish, bag and all, then killing
them by scanning them for theft deterrent tags.</div>
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One cannot simply accept at face value
the numbers with which we are presented on a daily basis, but we need
statistics to evaluate the world in which we live. The two seem to be unable to coexist; the one
hand promoting an agenda with numbers that we cannot and should not trust
without verifying, and the other hand wanting us to act without thinking. The idea is to not dismiss all
statistics as bad, but learn how to judge the good from the bad. This includes making the assumption that
social statistics are used by people to present a cause and give it statistical
backing to make it more prominent in peoples minds.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Just remember that the mathematically
inclined are destined for greatness, while a</div>
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<br /></div>
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numerically challenged society has
a forty percent chance of dying in a vacuum cleaner accident and</div>
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<br /></div>
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I have the stats to prove it.</div>
<br />
<br /></div>The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-48208690098353486382012-06-19T09:09:00.001-07:002012-06-19T09:09:10.783-07:00Don't Look at the Boogers.....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Have you every noticed a booger hanging from someones nose? Gross, right? You have three options to handle this... well, 4 options really, but getting it for them is not really a good option.<br />
<br />
Firstly, you can ignore it. Although, that's kinda like trying to ignore Mr. Plumbers Crack at the hardware store, or the bug walking across the television screen.<br />
<br />
Another option is to pick at your own nose while staring pointedly at the person, and at certain intervals, clear your throat while nodding in their direction while opening your eyes in an 'I can't believe you are just letting that hang out of your nose' manner.<br />
<br />
Last option, and the most effective, is to just tell them...<br />
<br />
'Hey man.... you have the most ginormous booger hanging out your nose. You're going to want to get that taken care of'</div>The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-84298261509664070652011-12-19T13:20:00.000-08:002011-12-19T13:20:21.764-08:00Odd Sayings - Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The English language is full of funny quirks. None the least of which are colloquialisms. These are sayings that are part of local speech, but not necessarily used elsewhere. For example, the contraction y'all. Combining 'you' and 'all' is ever present the further south in the United States you go. It is used in the following ways -<br />
<br />
When referring to one person - Are y'all going to the mall?<br />
<br />
When referring to a group of two or more - Are all y'all going to the mall?<br />
<br />
It's great, and it shows that English is a langauge that is alive and growing. It does, however, grow mold. For example, one of my pet peaves is when someone says something like this -<br />
<br />
"Well, that's a whole 'nother thing".<br />
<br />
Which begs the question, what is a half 'nother'?<br />
<br />
What other colloquialisms are prevelant in your neck of the woods? :)</div>The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-88576485583936176812011-12-14T13:38:00.000-08:002011-12-14T13:38:34.884-08:00Neutering Christmas<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Recently a story ran about a non-religious group who took offense of a banner that ran across a street in Pitman, NJ. The offending banner stated simply, 'Keep Christ in Christmas'.<br />
<br />
Four simple words about a holiday that is celebrated by more than a billion people worldwide caused a group based in Madison, Wisconsin to send a letter demanding the mayor of the city to take the sign down.<br />
<br />
“Our purpose is to protect the fundamental constitutional principle of separation of state and church. The government cannot in any way promote, advance, or otherwise endorse religion. The Christ banner unmistakably endorses the Christian faith.”<br />
<br />
Time could be spent explaining to this group that 'separation of church and state' is not a constitutional principle, but a quote from Thomas Jefferson that has been used to back up religious discrimination like this, but it is doubtful that this group would be receptive. In fact, their response was to continue to discriminate, harass, and defame Christians specifically and God fearing people in general by creating their own banner -<br />
<br />
“There are no gods, no devils, no angels, no heaven or hell ... Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds.”<br />
<br />
The above is considered civil and intelligent, while reminding believers to keep Christ in Christmas is hateful and State promotion of religion.<br />
<br />
It is truly amazing to see the change that is wrought in our society by an overly sensitive culture. Where once their was civility and respect, there is now enmity and outright hatred exhibited by our fellow men. People with opposing views on religion will no longer willingly seek out common ground.<br />
<br />
The neutering of Christmas has been going on for a very long time, and it continues today. Corporations large and small no longer have Christmas parties, simply Winter/Holiday parties. This happens despite the fact that you are having a party in December around Christmas and likely have for a long time simply because Christmas is in December.<br />
<br />
Perhaps if those who do not believe in Jesus Christ used some of His teachings in their lives, we might come to a place of mutual respect at last. Until then, offense will be taken when no offense is intended, and we will further distance ourselves from the reason for the season... Hope, Peace, and Good Will Toward Men.</div>The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-66996410329250979222011-11-02T11:28:00.000-07:002011-11-02T11:28:16.637-07:00Aaaaaaaaannnnnnd We're Back!!!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Due to events/circumstances beyond my control.... <br />
<br />
Well, not so much events or circumstances, and when I say beyond I mean within and by control, I mean... well, control.<br />
<br />
So to restate, due to non events and non circumstances that are well within my control, I haven't posted. I have now removed said non events/circumstances because as I stated before, they are/were within my control.<br />
<br />
There. Clear?<br />
<br />
</div>The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-55924713697495434002011-09-27T13:22:00.000-07:002011-09-27T13:22:49.542-07:00WTHIUWT Part 3 - Infomercials<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
WTHIUWT Part 3 brings us to one of the biggest issues with TV today; infomercials. There is a local channel that many of you may have heard of, especially if you have younger kids. The channel is Qubo, and it has many shows that my kids love to watch. The one and only gripe I have about Qubo is that infomericals replace normal commericals from other channels.<br />
<br />
Infomercials usually follow the pattern below:<br />
<br />
- Show an idiot trying to do a simple thing in the worst possible way.<br />
<br />
- Show them making a mess doing it the worst possible way.<br />
<br />
- Introduce new and interesting product that helps said idiot do a simple task in a way that was never intended.<br />
<br />
- Show idiots happy family as the product of the simple task is shown to them<br />
<br />
- Offer - 4 of x items for $$$ along with the handy, dandy <thing>. But wait, there's more. If you act now, we'll double your order. 8 of x items and two handy, dandy <things> for $$$ plus $$$$<br />
<br />
- Sorry, no C.O.D.'s<br />
<br />
One I saw the other day was for people who have serious issues. They mutilate pancakes without regard for the shape they end up in. They put the pan on the oven upside down and then spread the batter directly onto the burner. They then take a plastic spatula to the batter and it melts to the burner.<br />
<br />
Next comes the lady who brings in the new contraption, which looks more like a mideival torture divice than a pancake mutilator.<br />
<br />
It's great... and if you act now, I will throw in this handy, dandy socket wrench.</div>
The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-6020851320645600132011-09-27T12:29:00.000-07:002011-09-27T12:29:15.217-07:00Setting the Bar<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Have you ever had a day where you felt the bar was set too high? I must say that this morning, for me, the bar was set uncomfortably out of reach. My alarm went off at 5:30am, I woke up, rolled over, and promptly smacked into the bar. This morning, my bar was somewhere between getting up out of bed and not.<br />
<br />
With all the advancements in medicine and the fact that we are continually living longer and better lives, you would think that waking up would be something of joy, but its not. The bar for the day is set low for sure when you consider getting up to be a major accomplishment.<br />
<br />
Who is in charge of setting the bar for today? Certainly not me, or I would have put the bar somewhere under the bed.<br />
<br />
</div>
The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-91567015272689935222011-09-12T13:37:00.000-07:002011-09-12T14:18:28.961-07:00WTHIUWT Part 2 - English<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
In Part 2 of my continuing series called "What the Heck is Up with That", we delve into another of lifes little mud pies, English.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;">English is a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_English_language">West Germanic language that originated from the Anglo-Frisian dialects brought to Britain by Germanic invaders from various parts of what is now northwest Germany and the Netherlands.</a> In other words, English is a mutt language consisting of the waste of Latin and German, mingled with any other language that had a word that English did not.</span><br />
<br />
Much like the childhood game of telephone, certain English rules were passed down through several stages after which nobody remembers why it's done that way, just that it is. For example, 'i' before 'e' except after 'c' makes perfect sense. Piece of cake, right? Oh, crap!!!! What about 'neighbor' and 'weigh'? Suppose you use a rule of thumb to mind your p's and q's? Lost?<br />
<br />
Even better are terms that sound alike but are spelled differently (heterographs)? Read, Reid, Reed, or weigh and way. How about homographs? Read, and read (red)?<br />
<br />
How about large words that describe something small? I'm looking at you 'abreviation'.<br />
<br />
Or <span class="hw">onomatopoeia (words that sound like their sounds... er something like that)? Buzz, moo, galumph? Also, why does spelling matter with words like these? What if to me a cow goes mumumumoooo? Why can't I spell it they way it sounds to me?</span><br />
<br />
<span class="hw">This brings me to another point. Why can't I just spell something phonetically? Phonetically is an oxymoron, but oxymoron isn't oxy nor moronic, but <em><strong>it is</strong></em> spelled phonetically.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="hw">There are also silent letters in the English language. Read should be re-ad or to add again, but it's not. If I want to silence a given letter, like in the word 'shifty', I get in trouble, but no one bats an eye at page or slime.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="hw">English is the language of choice in the world today, so learn it. Just don't be surprised if someone looks at you funny when you re-ad a book.</span><br />
<br />
<br /></div>
The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-18335394177346033272011-09-07T09:31:00.000-07:002011-09-07T09:31:41.811-07:00WTHIUWT Part 1 - Unsportsmanlike Conduct - Excesive Celebration<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Over the past several days, it has occurred to me that there are a ton of things in the world that serve little to no purpose. It is for this reason that I have decided to do a five part series entitled - WTHIUWT - What the Heck is UP With That.<br />
<br />
Part one I will dive into something that has irritated me about football. is Unsportsmanlike Conduct - Excessive Celebration. This is the unfortunate penalty one incurs by jumping, shouting, fist pumping, or breathing in a threatening way. So after scoring a touchdown that ties the game in the final 20 seconds, you jump/fist pump/shout/breathe, and the next thing you know your kicker is attempting a very blockable and much harder to hit extra point kick.<br />
<br />
The kicker then misses the kick, loses the game, and becomes the goat. The problem, though, is not the kicker but the rule that pushed his kick back too far. Is seems the expectation is for players to respond much like you would in a Chinese Checkers match. I can see it now. Forty-five yard Hail Mary pass is caught in the end zone after being batted in the air several times for the game winning score in the National Championship game. The players look at each other, calm their breathing, and politely congratulate the receiver who caught the ball.<br />
<br />
Chinese checkers doesn't require any full contact hitting, so the adrenaline probably isn't pumping so much. Though I haven't been in the National Championship Chines Checkers match, so I don't know.<br />
<br />
I say jump around and carry on during a 20 second celebration period. Do snow angels on the grass, pull out the Sharpie, whatever. After that, back to the game. Keep it simple. The only alternative is to take the excitement out of the game and introduce doilies.<br />
<br />
</div>
The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-41168262603254869922011-08-29T07:43:00.000-07:002011-08-29T07:43:10.793-07:00Soccer - The Bunch Ball Method - Other Applications<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div closure_uid_rrwvx2="113">Over the past weekend, I was able to take in a couple of soccer games. By 'take in' I mean coach and by 'soccer games' I of course mean chaotic kicking while wearing brightly colored uniforms.</div><div closure_uid_rrwvx2="113"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_rrwvx2="113">As coach, it is my responsibility to manage the chaos within the lines. This is a lot like trying to get shepherd six kids down the candy isle without on piece of candy leaving the shelf. Now, don't get me wrong, hard though it may be to keep the kids in the lines, I was laughing most of the time.</div><div closure_uid_rrwvx2="113"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_rrwvx2="113">Part of the humor is what people like to call 'bunch ball'. It's where all kids surround the ball in a menacing way and kick at the same time. The effect of all the kicking produces very humorous results. The kids get all turned around as the parents yell, "KICK IT", and "GO THE OTHER WAY" at the top of their lungs, which to kids on the field sounds a lot like "DJFPEOIJAS SDFOIJT" and "HEIUXCF SDF GJOWE FSOBNX". All of this inevitably leads to the ball going wherever it wants to and the kids chase after it until bunch ball begins again.</div><div closure_uid_rrwvx2="113"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_rrwvx2="113">I have been thinking recently how not unlike bunch ball some so called 'grown up' pursuits can be. For example, I think bunch ball accurately describes the way politicians go at a topic. For example, taxes. One group for and one group against stands around the issue kicking with all their might. No direction is required, just kick. The problem is that no matter how much you kick the ball, it never seems to get any closer to the goal. All the while, the tax payers are yelling at them to do one thing or an other which the politicians construe to mean that they are doing a good job, as they are not really listening anyway.</div><div closure_uid_rrwvx2="113"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_rrwvx2="113">Bunch ball accomplishes nothing most of the time other than making everyone tired. The problem is that it chaos sometimes produces a desired result, so it perpetuates chaos as the way to accomplish something.</div><div closure_uid_rrwvx2="113"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_rrwvx2="113">Another example of 'grown up' bunch ball is how many people approach life in general. Rather than setting specific goals for improvement, they simply go down the road of life looking for the ball and start kicking it along with everyone else. Eventually one of them will get some success, but on the whole, no one accomplishes much of anything.</div><div closure_uid_rrwvx2="113"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_rrwvx2="113">The moral of today's story should be obvious. Bunch ball is fun to watch, but hardly worth your time the older you get.</div><div closure_uid_rrwvx2="113"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_rrwvx2="113"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_rrwvx2="113"><br />
</div></div>The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-21839607200282126292011-08-26T09:54:00.001-07:002011-08-26T10:43:43.175-07:00..... .... my aching back....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div closure_uid_rticjc="108">Today, as part of my never ending quest to explain what happens when you age... I SAID, AS PART OF MY NEVER ENDING QUEST TO EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPNES WHEN YOU AGE... I am always on the alert for interesting quirks of getting old.</div><div closure_uid_rticjc="108"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_rticjc="108">I, myself, am not old yet, but I have experiencing some of the joys of aging. One happened today. I was walking down the hall at work with a microwavable pizza when for reasons unknown, I decided to attempt to drop it. Neat thing about me is my cat like reflexes. Meaning, my brain reacts quickly to stuff like that. Problem is, my brain doesn't have hands to catch stuff, so it uses my body.</div><div closure_uid_rticjc="108"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_rticjc="108">My body, while mostly cooperative, this time decided to perform in a less than helfull way. In slow motion, I watched as the pizza tumbled toward the ground. My brain then imediately sends the signals to my arms, back, legs, abs, feet, and for some reason a small seldom used muscle on my back. This muscle, which by all rights should only be used while lifting sacks of rice sideways onto a large table, goes crazy and attempts (I can only assume) to catch the falling pizza on its own.</div><div closure_uid_rticjc="108"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_rticjc="108">Now this little muscle, also without hands and the power to do anything other than move said sacks of rice sideways onto a large table, demonstrating courage and the chutzpah of a nerdy kid asking the head cheerleader on a date, blows up in the attempt.</div><div closure_uid_rticjc="108"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_rticjc="108">I now have a pain about two inches under my left shoulder blade. Interesting pain it is too.</div><div closure_uid_rticjc="108"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_rticjc="108">Oh and I have come to the the interesting quirk of getting old... telling everyone about the pain.</div><div closure_uid_rticjc="108"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_rticjc="108">You're Welcome.</div></div>The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-69511588345685074992011-08-18T10:31:00.000-07:002011-08-18T10:31:15.975-07:00The Switcheroo<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div closure_uid_tn5jis="104"><div closure_uid_uaph1u="103">I was sitting at my desk today eating some pretzels, when it occured to me that my mouth was exceedingly dry. I reached for my cup that was filled with pink lemonade. I put the straw to my mouth and took a large sip.</div><div closure_uid_uaph1u="103"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_uaph1u="103">I gagged as I realized that there were two cups on my desk. One with my ice cold pink lemonade, and the other with something I can only describe as foot fungus in liquid form. As I went into convulsions, I looked around to try to get a grasp on what just happened.</div><div closure_uid_uaph1u="103"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_uaph1u="103">It then all came back to me. One of my co-workers had come to my desk to ask a question and had left their 'health' drink at my desk. With it being the same cup type, I had no idea that I was about to injest his liquid foot fungus....</div><div closure_uid_uaph1u="103"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_uaph1u="103">This brings me to my two points of the day...</div><div closure_uid_uaph1u="103"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_uaph1u="103">1 - Eating foot fungus is not healthy.</div><div closure_uid_uaph1u="103"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_uaph1u="103">2 - 'A cup full of foot fungus' sounds like a great name for a band.</div></div></div>The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-68541776584290778022011-08-09T07:49:00.000-07:002011-08-09T07:49:17.511-07:00Ask the Chef - How To Make The Perfect Hamburger<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div closure_uid_3w3vtb="101">On today's 'Ask the Chef' we will be talking about grilling. In particular we will be talking about the rare art of grilling ground beef. When cooking a hamburger, many do not understand the important place they hold in society. As the master of the grill, you <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">wield</span> the power of taste, to provide the satisfaction of stomach. You are the pleaser of the palate... the sultan of patty... (t-shirt pending).</div><div closure_uid_3w3vtb="101"><br />
When you cook your hamburger, there are some things to do and some things not to do. I have a very simple list of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Do's</span> and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Don'ts</span>...<br />
<br />
<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Do's</span></div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><div closure_uid_3w3vtb="101">Do use <strong><em>real</em></strong> meat. Beef only. Sure they call them hamburgers not beefburgers, but don't use ham and for heaven's sake don't use turkey....</div></li>
<li><div closure_uid_3w3vtb="101">Do use beef with low fat content, or be prepared to start with a one foot wide burger and end up with one that is roughly the size of the cheapy burgers at McDonald's. </div></li>
<li><div closure_uid_3w3vtb="101">Do use some kind of barbecue sauce</div></li>
<li closure_uid_3w3vtb="127">Do include garlic</li>
</ul><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Don'ts</span><br />
<ul><li closure_uid_3w3vtb="129">Don't make bricks. Meaning, don't overcook. Flame kissed, not flame French kissed.</li>
<li closure_uid_3w3vtb="130">If you are using hamburger from your local grocery store (gags), DON'T <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">UNDER COOK</span>. It is frowned upon in <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">culinary</span> circles when your guests die from some crazy bacteria.</li>
<li closure_uid_3w3vtb="131">Don't walk away from the grill. A perfect burger is killed by BFD (<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Burger Forgetfullness Disorder</span>) moments.</li>
<li>Don't tick of the bees. Bees are a part of grilling, so it's better if they be happy.</li>
<li>Last but not least, watch out for crazy uncle Lou. He has been banned from backyard <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">barbeque's</span> for a reason. DON'T INVITE LOU.</li>
</ul></div>The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-21814024083010285102011-08-08T08:54:00.000-07:002011-08-08T09:09:29.648-07:00Why Is The Sky Blue?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div closure_uid_ehegng="115">This is one of lifes great questions, right next to why do we have boogers and the all important question, if a woodchuck could chuck wood, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck?</div><div closure_uid_ehegng="115"></div><div>The mind boggles...</div><div></div><div closure_uid_ehegng="120">Where was I? Oh yeah, well, to be honest, the sky has no color. Blue is what are eyes perceive, but there is no pigment to Nitrogen, and Oxygen. Even more peculiar is that space is black, but how can nothing have a color? And if nothing has a color, and the sky is colorless, then wouldn't the sky be nothing too? </div><div closure_uid_ehegng="120"></div><div closure_uid_ehegng="120">And if nothing can be black and blue then why is water blue in oceans and lakes? Water is hydrogen and oxygen which when combined together makes a visible liquid that has no color, but is hardly nothing. If water has a blue color in a lake or ocean, why does it not have a color when it's in my glass? </div><div closure_uid_ehegng="120"></div><div closure_uid_ehegng="120">So, in conclusion, if water, the sky, and space have no color, and are not nothing... why do they look the way they do?</div><div></div><div closure_uid_ehegng="109"><br />
</div><div><div closure_uid_jnbi1p="100">Answer: God</div><div closure_uid_jnbi1p="100"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dd_sIV2QkMM/TkAKKSMURJI/AAAAAAAAAEk/4ZD4-exOxkk/s1600/sky.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200px" naa="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dd_sIV2QkMM/TkAKKSMURJI/AAAAAAAAAEk/4ZD4-exOxkk/s320/sky.jpg" width="320px" /></a></div><div closure_uid_jnbi1p="100"><br />
</div></div></div>The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-70364313682104500882011-08-05T11:17:00.000-07:002011-08-05T11:17:40.418-07:00What School Are You From?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div closure_uid_arsf8m="113">An interesting thing happened on the way to work this morning. As I was driving, I came across a rather shiny red Corvette that was pulled over on the side of the street. In the brief few seconds I had to observe, I noted a few rather interesting things.</div><br />
<div closure_uid_arsf8m="114">1 - The Corvette was brand spanking new. This was easy to spot as the new owner license sticker was still there in place of the actual license plate.</div><div closure_uid_arsf8m="114"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_arsf8m="114">2 - There was a man who, obviously in the throws of a spectacular midlife crisis, was standing in too-short-to-be-legal shorts, white socks, sandals, and a curiously bold Hawaiian shirt.</div><div closure_uid_arsf8m="114"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_arsf8m="114">3 - The man was holding a phone. Not a sleek phone to match his Corvette mind you, but a substantially hefty flip phone.</div><div closure_uid_arsf8m="114"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_arsf8m="114">This brings me to today's initial question with an even more intriguing follow up. Seeing that there are two schools, old and new, from which school are you? Is it possible to be from both schools and not look/act/feel like an idiot?</div><div closure_uid_arsf8m="114"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_arsf8m="114">For this man, I think he is the captain of the Old School rowing team. The problem for him is that while he is very good at rowing, and the quite popular at the Old School, he only has eyes for the New School. You see, his son goes to the New School where they have something called 'moto...cross' and 'rap...music'. Even more intriguing is something called MT...... V and uh.... X... Games.</div><div closure_uid_arsf8m="114"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_arsf8m="114">So Mr. Rowing Captain decides to come up to the New School for a visit and puts in his papers for a transfer. Rowing doesn't exist at the New School and he isn't quite sure how oars fit in with Motocross. Should he discard the oars? Heck no. Those oars look mighty fine as wings on his dirt bike.</div><div closure_uid_arsf8m="114"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_arsf8m="114">Mr. Rowing Captain then changes his name to Mr. Cool Oar Guy and buys a new shiny dirt bike that he refuses to drive anywhere and gives his comb over a faux hawk.</div><div closure_uid_arsf8m="114"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_arsf8m="114">So, to answer the question, no you cannot be from both schools, and yes you look and act stupid when you try. The problem is that it feels soooooo good....</div><div closure_uid_arsf8m="114"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_arsf8m="114"><br />
</div></div>The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-55346773450704898212011-08-04T14:28:00.000-07:002011-08-04T14:28:26.635-07:00If It A'int Broke...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div closure_uid_oc2vba="113">There are varying definitions people assign to the word 'broken'. Take the iPhone for instance. I know some people who would view a scratch on any part of their iPhone as critical damage. Then there are some who could drop it from a bridge into a lake full of boiling lava and as long as they could still make out the 'Apple' logo, it would suffice.</div><div closure_uid_oc2vba="113"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_oc2vba="113">With such a wide variation in our views on the subject, it is no wonder that we as humans spend so much time arguing over the concept of 'broken'. For example, I have a hat that I have used for many years. To me, the sweat stains and the little thread that hangs down from the bill add to the character of the hat. Hard working head wear doesn't come around every day. My wife on the other hand keeps trying to cut the thread off, or throw the hat away completely. I think she has even tried to put Febreze on it to kill the smell.... Come to think of it.... I haven't seen that hat for a long time....</div><div closure_uid_oc2vba="113"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_oc2vba="113">Do the police allow missing persons reports for hats?</div></div>The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-30131995110042957072011-08-04T13:54:00.000-07:002011-08-04T13:54:08.127-07:00Back From Vacation<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">So it turns out that people actually miss this blog when I am gone. Go figure.</div>The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-77307824019401816112011-07-29T07:40:00.000-07:002011-07-29T07:40:00.490-07:00Random News Friday<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">The problem with most posts on blogs is that the writer doesn't know how to introduce their topic in a way that grabs most peoples attention. This means that they don't get past the first couple of sentences without leaving the blog... <br />
<br />
It occurs to me that I may have lost you in my introduction...<br />
<br />
Well, for those of you who stayed, I bring you RANDOM NEWS FRIDAY!<br />
<br />
<div closure_uid_3hczwn="117"><strong><u>Georgia Lemonade Girls</u></strong></div><div closure_uid_3hczwn="117"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_3hczwn="117"><div closure_uid_ytk97s="113">In a <a href="http://wiseguyandbeyond.blogspot.com/2011/07/lemonade-or-terrorist-plot.html">recent blog post</a> I brought to you a story about three Georgia girls who were prohibited from having a lemonade stand due to the fact that they didn't have a business license and a food handlers permit. This is of course because nothing is more insidious than a lemonade stand. The towns police should have a new slogan. "Keeping the public safe from watery lemonade".</div></div><div closure_uid_3hczwn="117" closure_uid_ytk97s="92">To make matters worse, the purpose of the lemonade stand was to help them earn money to afford entry into a local water park. This nefarious plot wherein children earn money through selling a product they had made was foiled by the police. I mean to say, lemonade which contains water being sold to gain entry to a <em><strong>water park</strong></em>? </div><div closure_uid_3hczwn="117" closure_uid_ytk97s="92"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_3hczwn="117" closure_uid_ytk97s="92">Well, this story has just had a new twist. The manager at the water park has just offered to let the girls sell their lemonade <em>in</em> the water park. The girls were also given free entry to the park. The only problem is that the city is still pondering charges against the girls. Sounds like a good use of tax dollars to me.</div><div closure_uid_3hczwn="117" closure_uid_ytk97s="92"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_3hczwn="117" closure_uid_ytk97s="92"><strong><u>Tiger Woods Back From Rehab</u></strong></div><div closure_uid_3hczwn="117" closure_uid_ytk97s="92"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_3hczwn="117" closure_uid_ytk97s="92">Tiger Woods has recently tweeted that he would be back in action for the Bridgestone invitational. After spending several weeks out of action with a knee/achilles injury sustained at the Masters earlier this year, I am sure he is ready to get back into the swing of things....</div><div closure_uid_3hczwn="117" closure_uid_ytk97s="92"><br />
</div><div class="separator" closure_uid_3hczwn="117" closure_uid_ytk97s="114" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p98/VynSint/rimshot.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240px" src="http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p98/VynSint/rimshot.png" t$="true" width="320px" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<div closure_uid_3hczwn="117" closure_uid_ytk97s="92"><br />
</div></div>The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-2763504863133808272011-07-27T06:31:00.000-07:002011-07-27T06:31:17.708-07:00Mysteries<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div closure_uid_6vnjje="106">There are somethings in this world that will never be explained. Who let the dogs out? Was there a second shooter on the grass covered "small hill or mound"? (someone once asked me what a knoll was, so rather than get that question again, I defined it. You're welcome.) If a tree falls in the forest and lands on somebody, does the tree care?</div><div closure_uid_6vnjje="106"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_6vnjje="106">Well, one mystery can finally be put to rest. Photons cannot travel faster than light. This is like saying that sound waves cannot travel faster than the speed of sound. Considering a photon is basically a unit of light, it means that light cannot travel faster than itself. </div><div closure_uid_6vnjje="106"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_6vnjje="106">I know there is more to it than that, but this has got me thinking... if someone can get a grant for proving light travels at the speed of light, could I get a grant to prove arachnids have eight legs? Or perhaps, could I study the spelling of the word aardvark? I mean, why the double 'a' to start the word? It's not pronounced a a rdvark.</div><div closure_uid_6vnjje="106"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_6vnjje="106">I also have a theory on who let the dogs out.</div><br />
</div>The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-58321794497601288802011-07-27T06:11:00.000-07:002011-07-27T06:11:44.385-07:00Say What?!?!?!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I am going to increase my debt limit today. In spending more money than I take in by about fifty percent, it has become clear that I must spend more. The one thing that is clear to me and has been for quite some time is that the more I spend, the more I make.<br />
<br />
This being the case, I propose the following budget plan:<br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;"><li><div closure_uid_7vi4wc="112">Cut the increase in spending from fifty percent to fourty-nine percent.</div></li>
<li><div closure_uid_7vi4wc="112">Increase the rate at which I spend money on fly-by-night investments, like inflateable cars.</div></li>
<li><div closure_uid_7vi4wc="112">Cut discresionary spending on icecream and move it to doughnuts.</div></li>
<li><div closure_uid_7vi4wc="112">Cut seventy-five percent from dog clothing budget.</div></li>
<li><div closure_uid_7vi4wc="112">Increase the rate of decrease in the increased budget for leg band initiative in which a leg band is purchased for everyone who stands for the increase in the decrease of the increased budget.</div></li>
<li><div closure_uid_7vi4wc="112">Increase revenue by pick-pocketing.</div></li>
</ul><div closure_uid_7vi4wc="112">The above will be the basis by which I will prove my fiscal responsiblity and my ability to repay my debts.</div><div closure_uid_7vi4wc="112"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_7vi4wc="112">Any questions? Want to invest?</div><div closure_uid_7vi4wc="112"><br />
</div><br />
</div>The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-51780871063300421372011-07-21T14:29:00.000-07:002011-07-21T14:29:43.105-07:00Truth, Justice, and.... oooh.... Shiny!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div closure_uid_fpc05q="117">There was a time when the office where I work had a walkway clear of any hurdle. My mind had memorized that hallway to the point that I could literally walk backwards, blindfolded, and gagged and still make it. It was a perfect place to walk and chew gum even for the most clumsy person. That is until someone decided to put a plant in the hallway that sticks out halfway from the wall. Many a person has run into that plant because, like so many things, <em>we don't realize we've lost something until we impale ourselves on a tree.</em></div><div closure_uid_fpc05q="117"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_fpc05q="117">The same can be said about life in general. Growing up, I recall a time when I could go outside and play in an open field and do pretty much whatever I wanted. We built a tree house that everyone in the neighborhood used. In travelling back to that same spot today, there are houses as far as the eye can see. It happened gradually, but the open spaces that so many held dear are now gone.</div><div closure_uid_fpc05q="117"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_fpc05q="117">The issue here is how quickly our minds focus on the shiny as a new way to slice bread. <em>Sometimes, the original doesn't need improvement.</em> Another example is how subtly American superheroes have change over the years to where they are nearly devoid of the American part of their character. Superman stands for truth, justice, and all that stuff. Wonder Woman ditched the star spangled lingerie. Spiderman doesn't mention NYC anymore.</div><div closure_uid_fpc05q="117"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_fpc05q="117">The thing is, American values haven't changed, but the way some people look at them has become more popular. America still stands for freedom, truth, and justice. It still stands for greatness and fair play. The question is, who will stand up for these values? Standing together with those who hold them so dear will ensure their survival. Ignore those values and truths, and we lose them. One day we will impale ourselves on the tree and wonder what the heck happened.</div></div>The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-70853637975056438582011-07-19T10:20:00.000-07:002011-07-19T10:27:02.170-07:00Lemonade or Terrorist Plot?Lemonade.... can there be a better way to quench your thirst than with some watered down lemonade from a corner stand? Sure at fifty cents for an increasingly smaller glass, it is overpriced. I can buy a package of Lemonade (Kool-Aid) for 18 cents plus the cost of sugar (35 cents) and produce a <strong><em>pitcher full of lemonade</em></strong>, but it's the principle of the thing, right?<br />
<br />
The self worth and self reliance that a simple lemonade stand teaches is extraordinary. Working toward a goal is always the better way. It also teaches you to understand people. Do people like warm lemonade on a 90 degree day, or do they prefer a little ice? Would they mind paying 10 cents more for that ice? Is it possible to get even more sticky if I spill some on the table and let it sit in the hot sun? Even more important, if I play in it with my fingers and/or other body parts, does it make it more or less likely to be appetizing to others?<br />
<br />
The opportunities for learning are endless, which is why I find the following story all that more disturbing.<br />
<br />
Some youths in Georgia were on private property selling lemonade. Perhaps the police officer didn't like lemonade, or had a bad experience with lemonade in the past, or perhaps hates little children. For whatever reason though, the officer pulled over and informed them that their lemonade stand was throwing off the rotation of the earth and needed to be closed down for the greater good. Now, if that were true, I could see the need for this stand to be taken down. I mean, it's for the greater good....<br />
<br />
The problem was actually related to the fact that they did not have a proper food handlers permit and business license, which at 180 bucks was just a tad out of the youngsters price range. The best part was the quote from the police chief who said, "police also didn't know how the lemonade was made, who made it or what was in it."<br />
<br />
Well, first you take your lemons and then you take your ade.... mix thoroughly.The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-48322886619432203492011-07-12T08:14:00.000-07:002011-07-12T12:39:12.410-07:00Lapse in JudgementThe frontal lobe of your brain is the area where cause and effect are ironed out. The younger you are, the less developed this sense is. Consequently, you get a five year old who thinks that if he jumps off the top of the monkey bars, he will float safely to the ground. Actually, he doesn't even think past, "I am gonna jump off the bars.... WEEEEEEEEE!"<br />
<br />
The underdevelopment of the frontal lobe even explains why I, while in 5th grade, gave a letter to a girl in my class that proclaimed my "love" and asked the following question:<br />
<br />
Do you...<br />
<br />
a- Love me<br />
b- Like me<br />
c- Hate me<br />
d- Think I am the ugliest boy on the face of the earth<br />
<br />
I have relived the moment several times in my mind all the while trying to will my younger self to either not send the letter, or get rid of options "c" and "d". Alas, my younger self was unable to get the message, and the letter remains with option "d" circled.<br />
<br />
At or around the age of 21, the frontal lobe starts to connect the dots. This also explains why I thought, up until that point, that my parents were idiots. While making decisions in my youth, my parents were always there to point out the pitfalls. Unfortunately, while they were talking, my mind turned on "Pop Goes the Weasel" which drowned out their advice. (By the way, you're welcome for getting "Pop Goes the Weasel" stuck in your head.)<br />
<br />
As the age of 21 approached, the volume on the song varied from barely audible to overpowering. This explains walking in a lightning storm with my umbrella held high and getting struck by a tiny bolt of lightning, but it also explains why I did not go cliff diving from the very same spot that someone had died a year previous.<br />
<br />
So now that we have gone through the excuse built in for those under 21, what is the excuse for those over 21? For example, when tragedy struck as a 39 year old father fell to his death while trying to catch a ball in Texas Ranger stadium, why on earth would another man days later even reach over the precipice? The man nearly met the same fate.<br />
<br />
In all seriousness, we need to take a moment and turn down the music. Take a moment and consider the possible consequences of our actions. If we can all be a little more thoughtful, we might avoid some of the most serious of those consequences and maybe stick around on the third rock from the sun a little longer.The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-38230832532054696792011-07-08T15:09:00.000-07:002011-07-08T15:09:02.323-07:00Too Much Time On Your HandsI think people can be separated into three distinct groups. Protesters, counter protesters, and people who work. If there is one thing that I have noticed recently, the first two groups of people seem to have an overwhelming amount of time on their hands. I see people out protesting, which in and of itself can be about 10 percent of the time a worthy use of ones time. Mostly, though, it does about as much good as screaming at an spider and expecting it to get scared and leave.<br />
<br />
"Heck no, no more processed chicken!!! Heck no, no more processed chicken!!!"<br />
<br />
Is the processed chicken killing you? No. Do you have other food consumption options? Yes! <br />
<br />
The worst kind of protesters in my opinion are those who protest the protesters. They're the ones that try to make their endeavors sound smart by calling them "counter protests", though it inevetiably devolves into a child's playground arguement.<br />
<br />
"Heck no, no more processed chicken!!! Heck no, no more processed chicken!!!"<br />
<br />
Then you get the 'counter' argument...<br />
<br />
"You guys are stupid"<br />
<br />
There are protesters I see every day on the way to work. Oddly enough, they don't seem to leave to go anywhere. They are there all day. This leaves me to wonder if perhaps there is a lot of money in protesting....<br />
<br />
Protest unfair taxation.... good.<br />
<br />
Protest dangerous work environment.... good.<br />
<br />
Protesting to get chocolate milk out of children's schools.... maybe not.<br />
<br />
Protesting the protesters and those who protest the protesters in a blog... crap, got me there...The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149656343359515609.post-32542033232426899642011-07-06T14:46:00.000-07:002011-07-06T14:46:54.146-07:00What Went Wrong... You Tube edition<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
Have you ever been in a situation where you were left with a face like this?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eaYwSk1env4/ThTP_VVStRI/AAAAAAAAAEg/OkazmHDg2FI/s1600/what%253F.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="254" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eaYwSk1env4/ThTP_VVStRI/AAAAAAAAAEg/OkazmHDg2FI/s320/what%253F.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>It can happen to anyone at any time. Imagine you are moments away from slipping. What would your face look like?<br />
<br />
Anyway, for a lighter side of falls, I present...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/e8gHbKap2OA?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br />
... not enough denture adhesive...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/FJ0knsGUHmQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br />
And to end it... Charlie bit me again...<br />
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</div>The Wise Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01131626491285221331noreply@blogger.com0