.... So, You've Had A Bad Day...

On the bright side, you aren't a fish with lips... I bet he gets no end of crap at school...

Frizzy hair... at least you have enough hair...

Truely, there are people out there who have things much worse than us, and yet they are happy.  So next time you get cut off while on the highway of life, smile and wave.... with all fingers.

Random News of the Day

Weddings?  I love weddings!  Drinks All Around!
Prince William and Kate Middleton were wed this morning, and there were reports that viewership of the royal wedding exceeded two billion people.  Not entirely sure what was so exciting that peopel would give up sleep to see it.  I would have prefered to see what the traffic was like to avoid the traffice jam.  Personally, I blame Disney.

PSN - Free, So You Get What You Pay For

There was a time when I was really, seriously pondering buying a Playstation 3.  With the Blu-ray player and awesome games, what's not to like?  Add to it the ability to play for free on the Playstation Network and you have a real tempting product.

Apparently, it's not just the cosumer that is interested in the Playstation and it's network.  Sony has divulged a major attack wherein all customer data (name, address, credit card number, etc) was accessed.  As much as I feel sorry for faultless users, there is one particular person to whom I wish to say.... na na na na naaaaaa na!!!!

Michal Scott Leaves - Now What Do I Watch?

There is little of value on TV anymore anyway, but now that Michael Scott has left Dunder Mifflin I wonder what will happen to The Office.  My guess is that we have seen the last of Scranton, PA.

Superman... No longer American?

No lighthearted humor here folks.  Superman is renouncing his US citizenship in the latest comic, which is number 900 in the series.  Superman stands for American values for ideals that others espouse, but the writers of Superman comics have chosen to separate him from those ideals.

I know this sounds crazy, but losing Superman should be a wake up call for all Americans.  Perhaps we should return to what made and makes America great?

Getting Old

Ok, so a very funny thing happened this morning.  I was in the shower and an idea came to me of a great topic to write about today.  It was so tremendous and unforgetable that I thought the mere idea of writing it down was beneath me, because in no way would I ever misplace this idea in my steel trap of a mind.

If you know where this story is heading, you are likely young and have the propensity to mock your elders due to their forgetfulness.  On the other side of it, if you knew where this was going but have since forgotten, you will probably remember it at a time when all value of knowing has past.

Anyway, later that morning I was driving into work and the thought came to me how neat it was going to be to write about the amazing topic I had thought up earlier.  What joy it brought to me!  So I went to the steel trap where I had left the super neat idea only to find that not only was the idea not there, but I had misplaced the steel trap. 

This leads me to today's topic: getting old.  I thought it might be nice to have a few sure fire signs that you are getting old, knowing that you will likely forget these by the time you experience them...

1 - If you refer to years past as the "good ole days", or "my day", and then follow it by how crappy today is, you are well on your way.

2 - Early onset of "oldness" causes one to walk down the hallway for something (which you forgot) and come back with something else just so you didn't waste the trip.

Late onset of "oldness" causes a search party to be sent out when you do not return.  The search party finds you in the den at the opposite side of the house taking a nap.

3 - An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a prune today keeps me regular...

4 - You have chosen the perfect year for clothing style and have decided to stick with it on all future purchases despite the fact that the beat goes on without you.

5 - You peruse a newspaper and try cut out the coupon for the buy one get one free arthritis ointment, but can't so you lick the page and rip it.

6 - You start to lose your hearing.... I SAID, YOU START TO LOSE YOUR HEARING...
7 - You use the term "what's his face" not to mock, but because you really don't remember his name.

8 - You stop yelling at people for going too slow.  You are now the reason people yell.

9 - Getting out of bed gets the adreneline pumping.

10 - You get your "sweets" by stealing the Sweet n' Low from the diner

Well, those are just a few of the signs of "oldness".  Good luck!

Speaking But Not Really Saying Anything

.... otherwise known as political speaches...

Self Healing Polymers

Being the cool guy that I am you would hardly expect a post I have written to be titled "Self Healing Polymers", right?  I mean, who in their right mind besides the uber dorky even uses the word 'polymers'?  I have before used the word poly (usually spelled Polly... bunch of crazy scientists spelled it wrong) and 'mer' but only when appended to the word 'maid', but that is hardly the same thing.

Anyway, there is a story on the nature.com site that goes into the ability of specialized polymers to heal themselves when under UV light.  The plastic like material in essence heats up and the polymer becomes almost fluid and fills in scratches an imperfections in the material.  We here at the Wise Guy And Beyond Blog can think of many uses for such things, none the least of which is every cell phone I have ever had.

Now if they could apply the same characteristics to car paint....

Missing My Mind - Help

Today has run kind of like a low budget, bad script, bad acting, and overall lamentable suspense movie.

First, it was the case of the missing sock, which regrettably went unsolved as I am currently wearing one blue and one black sock...

Next came the fiasco of the misplaced keys.  You know how it happens, right?  You tell yourself over and over that you will never forget where the keys are because they are in a place that so obvious that they might as well be playing the accordion at an opera, they are so obvious.  Only later to find out that apparently the accordion sounds pretty nice in Mozart's piano concerto...

The following is where the story bogs down and they try to introduce humor to speed it up.  This is where I drop my cookie from lunch and can't see it until I turn my chair around and step on it.

Immediately following the cookie squishing the big storm hits.  Hail, lightning, and a tree that a guy is trying to hold up before it lands on three cars.  I then watch the three owners of said cars run out and quickly move their cars as the tree crashes to the ground.

Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuun.......

Anyway, then the story slows down again...... really sllllloooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....

Then I write this blog... hey, we caught up to real time... neato.